I want to start out by saying that I am thankful that for the last several years, I have been connected to wonderful churches who have been the hands and feet of Christ by showing love to their neighbors.
But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
Luke 10:29-37 ESV
In 4th grade, one year after I became a Christian (accepting Jesus as my personal savior and putting my own faith in Him), my dad moved my brothers & me to a "better" school. I was bullied there from day one. When I reported it, the bullies had no repercussions (for the most part), but I got in trouble for reporting it.
Proverb 18:24 KJV was quoted at me regularly "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." They followed this with "You're just not being friendly enough."
One classmate that knew me from the previous school helped start the fire that would burn for years, and my brothers helped fan the flames.
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
James 3:6 KJV
Two classmates, a handful of teachers & older students supported me & helped me survive. Larissa and Susanna welcomed me into their friendship, and made a bigger impact on me than they will ever know. They helped me through some of the hardest years. The Baker family had a major positive impact on me. I still have the notes of encouragement that Matt wrote me 25 years ago. Mrs. Love, Mr. Bowden, Mrs. Monds, Mrs. Napier, Mr. Edwards, Mr. Edmonds, Mr. Edwards, & Mr. Turnbull are the other teachers who saw me as me, not judging me by who I may or may not be related to. Not by the fact that I wasn't related to "the right staff" or best friends with their kids (who rejected me from the beginning).
I was different. First I was the new kid, then it was just that I talked funny. I was slower... just different. In the locker room, I tried to hide to change clothes, beause my scars from hydrocephalus were just one more way I was "different." I made it a point to not talk about my medical issues that made me different, even when it led to missed school days for EEGs and eye surgeries. I didn't want to give them more ammo. When I tried out for wrestling cheerleading, I was handed a stack of papers on how to lose weight. I still have nightmares that I will lose so much weight that I am literally skin stretched over bone, & people will still say I'm fat. To some people, I will never be good enough.
In addition to the general bullying, I was judged by my brothers' actions. My family was judged for being a single-parent home, and who knows what else.
When my family started going to church there, I got reamed out for sitting with "the bus kids" instead of the ACS kids. I sat with the bus kids because they treated me with kindness and decency. I met friends among the bus kids that I may never have met had I not been subjected to such cruelty from they kids that thought they were better.
These are the verses I think of when I think of the public school kids I sat with in that youth group:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Matthew 25:35-40 KJV
They were a friend to me, but I overheard so many conversations in that public school group where they lived out the rest of these verses for each other.
The kid that started it all came back in 10th grade and tried to undo what he had done, but it had been going on for 6 years at that point. Kids started treating me with a little more decency in my last 2 years there, but it was too little, too late. I had been beaten down long enough that I saw myself as worthless. One thing that didn't help was certain teachers and office staff telling me that I "had a big mouth, & talked too much." I tried to change because of this statement, and as a result, almost got a detention for disrespect from another teacher. (Because he didn't realize what was going on, & that i was trying to change myself.) I had teachers accusing me of not doing the reading assignment studying for quizzes and tests, because of the way my memory worked. I had no idea at that point what was wrong with me. I didn't know that my memory problems were connected to hydrocephalus, & that this problem was common/ normal with hydrocephalus.
I graduated 19 years ago, & my family is still not welcome on the property, & when I got in trouble for being there 7-8 years ago, people who shouldn't have known me from Adam knew "stories" & connected me to that.
At my 10 year high school reunion, I was told by several classmates that they admired me for not being in the "cliques," & that they had respect and admiration for my being a friend to everyone. Anyone could come talk to me about anything (even those who were mean to me when they were with the crowd). I am thankful that I learned this, but I wouldn't wish the method of learning on anyone. I was the reject, the outcast: I didn't have a choice. I accepted everyone, because I knew what it was like to not be accepted.
To this day, I have to talk myself into trusting people. I can't make myself ask for help when I need it. I am thankful that in the last 3 churches I have been a part of, I haven't had to ask, because the churches I have been a part of down here are being the body of Christ. Instead of tearing each other down, they are lifting and building each other up. I want to challenge you to look at how you treat others. Do you treat them with kindness and respect? Treat others with kindness.
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12 ESV
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35 ESV
