Struggles

Isn't it strange how one person's source of comfort is another's source of pain?
Isn't it strange how the thing that comforts one person in a hard situation makes another person who SEEMS to be in the same situation feel worse?
Isn't it strange how someone can think people around them MIGHT understand how they feel, only to find they don't?

One more hard lesson that God is the only one you can rely one 100% of the time. People will let you down: they're only people. circumstanses will disappoint. Plans will fail. Just get up, brush it off & don't let anyone else see you cry (That way you don't have to try to explain). Ther is only One you can depend on no matter what. He won't judge you, because He made you & knows what you're going through. No matter how alone you feel, He really is there walking beside you, & when needed, carrying you.

Footprints

Last night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:

One belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many timesalong the path of my life,

Especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

There was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me,

So I asked the Lord about it.

"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,

There was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why,

When I needed You most, You would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My son, My Precious child,

I love you and would never leave you.

During your times of suffering,

When you could see only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you."

This is a poem that I learned as a kid, & have hung onto ever since. Sometimes it helps to be reminded.

Frustrations

I had a doctor's appointment this morning, & they said that there are some things they can do to fix the problem, & waiting too long to do so can cause long-term problems, including putting me a high risk for certain types of cancer. However, they won't treat said problem until Tim gets checked out... now does that make sense? I get their point of suggesting we have him checked out, but if my problem puts me at risk for more serious problems, wouldn't they want to treat that regardless of his status? I am really trying to leave this in God's hands... I just need to vent about the requirements not making sense. God, I have had my fair share of tears. I am trusting You to make this right. I am trusting your timing; please help me keep trusting even in the hardest hours. Help me to CRAVE You more than anything. You are my Provider & my Healer, Jehovah Jireh / Jehovah Rapha. I will trust You & Your Promises, because You never fail & You never break Your promises.

CRAVE - something you long for, want greatly, desire eagerly and beg for.

Psalm 84:1,2 NKJV How lovely is your tabernacle, oh Lord of hosts! My sould longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; My heart and flesh cry out for the living God.

We have an in born craving for God. He placed it inside each one of us. When we try to fill up on other things, they never satisfy, because each of us is born with a "God-shaped hole" in our hearts, nothing else can fill that void. (John Fischer in his book Saint Ben). When we try to fill up on other things like our friends' troubles, gossip, relationships, food, tv, drugs/alchohol, or other material possesions, we are never satisfied. It will make us more and more frustrated, like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. When we depend on God for our sole source of satisfaction, we will never be dissappointed. God will provide us with:

Companionship (Hebrews 13:5-6)
Joy (John 15:11)
Life (John 10:10)
Love (John 15:12, I John 4:18)
True Freedom (Romans 6)
Grace
Peace (John 14:27)
Mercy (Psalm 100:5)
Blessing & Promises (Ephessians 1:3)

... and so much more! God keeps His promises! All He asks of us is that we believe and keep believing. he is faithful even when we are not. Why not trust Him to take care of us, fulfilling all of His promises? God promised several people in the Bible physical, tangible blessings. Many of them waited for years before seeing the blessing manifest, but they all believed. God will make good on ALL of His promises, but in His timing, not ours.

Following Him

Life has its ups and downs. There will only be one constant in this life: He will never leave us to make it though alone. Lately, I have been wondering what God is up to: why He gave me certain dreams then makes me wait. While I still don't know the answer to this, He has given me peace (as long as I trust Him). When I lost my job 19 months ago, I couldn't figure out what He had planned for me. He kept telling me that I wasn't supposed to get another job, but concentrate on my blankets. Everyone around me still thought I needed to find a job right away & if I wasn't finding one it was because I wasn't trying hard enough.
Right now, He has me serving Him in a couple of different areas, through volunteering, & through my blankets. I still apply for jobs, but I'm not upset over getting rejected for the positions anymore. I know that He has a plan for me, and that ech day is just a small piece to the big picture. Right now, I am happy to be a blessing to those He puts on my heart.