So Many Feelings...

I don't even know where to start with this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and surgery is tomorrow. I will be happy to get it over with and hopefully (prayerfully) have no more surgeries for a VERY long time after that. I am nervous about this surgery being different from past shunt surgeries. I am nervous about what it might mean for the fluid to drain into my heart. I'm try not to think about it, but here in the ICU, there is a lot of time to think.

Tim came to see me today. We played some card games, watched some TV, talked... then we said our "see you later." I cried as we held each other for 5-10 minutes. 

As we head into this next step, I am reminded that I am not alone, even when I feel isolated from everyone I love.

for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say,  “The Lord is my helper;  I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Hebrews 13:5‭b-‬6 ESV

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.

Psalm 54:4 ESV

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord  God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”

Isaiah 12:2 ESV

God , the Lord, is my strength;  he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.  To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.

Habakkuk 3:19 ESV

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26 ESV