Knowing how and when an issue like depression started doesn't mean you're living in the past, in that point of your life: it means you are a step closer to dealing with the issue at it's root, whether that means dealing with an event, or chemical imbalance, you still have to deal with the root cause. Just because I know I've been dealing with this since junior high doesn't mean I've never gotten past junior high. If that were true, I wouldn't have many of the relationships I have on Facebook. Just dropping a topic and not talking about a problem doesn't mean it's been dealt with, either. Not talking about emotions doesn't make them go away. It stuffs them down until they simmer & eventually explode. I am so sick of people telling me not to feel a certain way, or not to show it, but also not to stuff it. You can't have it both ways. I'm also sick of people telling me I shouldn't feel overwhelmed, just because they didn't when they were my age & had small children. I don't choose to feel this way, so it doesn't make sense for people to tell, me to "just stop feeling that way."
I'm supposed to handle being in big crowds or not have any time with other adults. There's no middle ground. I want to be around people, without the noise & chaos that goes with a big crowd. I need this time with others to feel like I'm still valued as a person, but I also need to not be judged when it becomes too much & I need to retreat into a quiet room.
Judging me for these actions tells me I am not good enough, which makes me retreat away even more from the people I feel are judging me.
