After the last couple of weeks, these verses hit me in a new way... I was asked a few times at the hospital what was different about me, where my joy came from, & why I was able to smile through it all.
I have such a peace... if my shunt problems clear up, it means He has more for me to do here: He's still using me. If one of these times my shunt goes out, & doctors are unable to repair it, I will gain, because I will be whole and in the presence of the Lord. That is a GAIN!
As long as I am here, that means God has work for me to do in and through Him. That is for others, to lead them to Him.
for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
Philippians 1:19-26 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/php.1.19-26.ESV
but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,
1 Peter 3:15 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/1pe.3.15.ESV
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