Just a Thought for Those Who Don't Understand, But Would Like To

Let me explain something to a few that don't seem to understand depression and anxiety...

Do not tell someone not to feel depressed or have a panic/anxiety attack. It doesn't work that way. Have you ever had someone tell you not to feel something? All that does is tell the person that it's not safe to express their feelings or what they're going through. When this goes on long enough, the person can get to a point where they don't even know how to express or explain their feelings. It's like if you ignore the feelings long enough, you don't even know what you are feeling, other than possibly numb. That doesn't mean the feelings went away because it wasn't safe to express them. It means they are now trapped and building up like a ticking bomb, ready to explode.

Do not ask what the person has to be depressed or anxious about. Depression and anxiety are actual conditions caused by a physical condition or chemical imbalance. Someone dealing with depression can have good days too, then without warning, or maybe because of a trigger, can have a really rough spell (the length of the spell can vary). This doesn't mean the condition went away then came back.

Yes, there are things that can help the symptoms, but what helps and how much of that thing it takes is different for each person. For some of us, it's medication, others handle it with supplements, still others find that just talking about the triggers & dealing with learning how to cope with insensitive people or situations helps. Do not tell people that they should just stop talking about it, & assume that will make it better. Some people know that talking about the stressors or triggers may help lessen the effects of said triggers, even if it takes a long time (each discussion of the triggers helps a little bit, but repetition is key for some people... after enough times, for that person, not the ones hearing it, the pain subsides enough it can finally be dropped for good, or the topic come up casually without reopening the wound & needing to be hashed out again).


As the boys chase each other around, I'm noticing that Mommy is automatically "home base" or the "safety." I'm thinking about how this applies to the rest of their little lives: Mommy & Daddy are the safe "go-to" people. So, what happens when Mommy and Daddy are too stressed or dealing with too much stress, anxiety or depression & are just told to "not feel that way"? It affects the kids' safety zone. If Mommy or Daddy don't feel safe & secure for themselves, there is no way they can be that for each other, or for the kids. This is why it's dangerous to dismiss anxiety and depression as nothing serious, or as an emotion you can just "not feel" or can just "get over." When screening for PPD, medical providers often ask "Do you feel safe at home?" This is worded in such a way it implies that the threat is from someone else. What would they say if someone's response was that she doesn't feel safe from herself?